Wedding Party Dos & Don'ts! (For the Couple & Wedding Party)

Deciding who will be members of your wedding party is no easy task. It can also be a little nerve-racking being ASKED to be in a wedding party. Here is a list of dos and don'ts when it comes to choosing, or being in, a wedding party. 

1.) DO Realize the Responsibilities

When the bride asks you to be a bridesmaid, it can be easy to get carried away with the idea of getting your hair and makeup done and wearing a beautiful dress alongside your bestie. But don’t forget the responsibilities you are taking on when you accept to be a bridesmaid. You have to help plan and pay for the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. You also need to be there with the bride on weekends and the week of the wedding helping her plan, giving her opinions and helping her with DIYs. It can and will take up a lot of your time, and will cost money. I'm sure the bride-to-be would rather you kindly decline her offer, rather than accept and be an unreliable bridesmaid. 

2.) DON’T Invite your “Past" Best Friends

You have known them since first grade, and you were best friends through middle/high school. But you don’t talk now, and have not been involved in each other's adult lives (other than a comment here and there on each other's Facebook posts). In this case, you should not feel pressured to invite them as bridesmaids or groomsmen. You are going to be spending a lot of time with your wedding party, and they will be standing behind you at the altar on your big day. It could become awkward or even cause drama being with someone who has basically become a “stranger.” 

3.) DON’T invite people just so there is an even number on both sides

So your future wife has eight “best friends forever!’ That doesn't mean you have to start contacting old “frat boy” friends you haven't seen in years to fill the gap. There does not NEED to be an even number on both sides. Bridesmaids can walk beside each other two-and-two. There is no need to invite people who you don't truly want to be at the altar behind you, just to fill a space.

4.) DON’T make it about you or cause DRAMA

This one could be for anyone attending a wedding. But if you are in the wedding party, you are spending a lot of time with the bride/groom. Do not stress them out with your drama, complaining, or critiques. This day is not about you. So whether you have beef with one of the other bridesmaids, or hate the color of your dresses, the bride does not need to hear about it or experience it in any way. You are there to support the bride/groom and be helpful, not a nuisance. So if it’s not necessary, kind, or helpful, then keep it to yourself. 

5.) DO realize you don't need a wedding party AT ALL

This day is about you and your partner. Your wedding day really isn’t about color coordinating bridesmaid dresses and suits, and doing “Bridesmaid Proposal Boxes.” All those things are extra time and money. Sometimes you might even feel like a wedding party could bring a lot of unneeded drama to your wedding day. So guess what? You don't need to have one! You can still plan and party with your friends before the wedding day, without the added stress of making sure they are ready to play a role in it. Everyone is there to see you and your partner commit your lives to each other. So skip the extra stress and money, and skip the wedding party!

Don’t stress the idea of having a wedding party, or being a part of one. Remember you don't need to have one and if you want one, just be smart about who you ask. And if you are a part of a wedding party, be helpful, responsible, and respectful. As long as you are picking true friends, or being a true friend, it should all work out in the end!